I find myself lying anxiously on my bed wishing desperately to be with people. For the past two weeks, I spent every waking second running around seeing people, having deep conversations, keeping late hours. Now, my life has ground to a halt. My mind keeps racing through names of anyone I know in Iowa, grasping at straws to busy my life up. God brought me here in a sudden change. I got excited and my heart gained momentum. I've been here one day and already I feel like I'm back to waiting. I am terrible at taking rest when God gives me the in between. Iowa moves so much slower than New York and I'm positively twitching. I'm back to square one and I don't like it one bit. How do you make friends? I forget how to live in this environment. Here, people need to be sought out. There rarely exists a happening upon a kindred spirit. I know God is simply removing distractions so I can be with him. I've gotten so used to the high stress, high activity life of college that I've forgotten how to enjoy the moments of pause. I feel like a kid who got into the cookie jar and ate all the food I'm hyped up on sugar but know I'm headed for a bad stomach ache if I keep the energy on full blast. Lord, help me rest in the unknown space of the in-between.
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