A Post-Abyss Life in a Pre-Abyss World

I believe a person happens upon the abyss at least once in his or her life. Generally as humans, we try to avoid this abyss by covering it up with language and patterns of behavior to follow. Heaven forbid we look into the unknown. Of course, I am borrowing these ideas from Kenneth Burke. Let's give credit where credit is due. Over the past few years, I have spent a fair amount of time thinking through the process of the abyss as a refining journey. After studying several world religions, I began to notice a pattern of language. Each religion seemed to be calling for true faith, the pursuit of something counter to the way of the world. In this pursuit, one would find peace, oneness, salvation, etc... Christianity was one religion that I saw trying to call for a life after the journey through the abyss, whereas many other, by my interpretation, seemed to be ending at the arrival of the abyss. I thought this was a lovely revelation. See, if language was keeping us away from the abyss, then I believed language was also the key to the abyss. However, worldly language is flawed. Originally, when Adam was told to name the animals, he gave them something: life, a presence, purpose, a place. Instead of the name dividing and restricting, I believe the name was to be creative as God's words were creative. Now, when we use language to name, it does restrict, divide, and remove essence. Something changed. Now, we name to gain control of something. We say this is understanding. I disagree. Anyways, if humans require language but the abyss was a way of breaking down our current structure to bring us to a new structure, language needs to be changed in the abyss. For those working through tragedy, there is often a period of silence. Words fail. I believe story then becomes essential to finding a way out of the abyss.

Today, I began to wonder once one is out of the abyss, how does one live in a society that is pre-abyss. If the entire structure of thinking, living, functioning is changed but one still remains in the web of pre-abyss thinking, living, functioning, how does daily life work? Is all of that journey forgotten? Does one find others who match the post-abyss change? Does one go off-grid?

Lately, my life has become normal in most assumed senses of the word. After a great shift and change in my life, I found a steady job, a steady boyfriend, a steady family, and a few steady friends. Yet, something in me is extremely restless. I feel like the revelation I had from my brief moments in the abyss have been forgotten or passed over in daily life. I don't know how to live out what I learned. Society seems to fight against it. Despite all of my uncertainties, I still have faith. Faith does not fade so easily. I talk to people who are older and wiser than me and see the faded passion. Now, I am starting to notice it in myself. I have grown lazy and selfish. I don't want to go through all the extra work of thinking differently or talking differently. When did I give up? I am sure I will journey through the abyss many more times in my life. Right now, though, I think I am climbing up a mountain. Maybe I just gave up climbing and am sitting in a cave, looking back at my valley, and trying to see through the fog to the beautiful land I saw when I first emerged.

Thoughts Concerning Media and Violence

My brain is overwhelmed right now, and I have to put it to page to sort it out. The thoughts are certainly not pleasant ones and are focused on, of course, the media focus on violence. Throughout history, power is displayed by the acquisition of technology (a.k.a resources). Back when the written word was only for a select few, the technology was used as a tool to control and display power. Land, I would argue is a technology as it is an extension of our ability to create life. Land was used to control and display power, as well. Weapons are an obvious display of power. Still, I was wondering this morning what is our tool of choice is in today's world. Twitter, Facebook, Blogger...social media is the language of today. I am curious if one looked at past instances of violence if a theme of power would arise. The technology of the time shows power. However, many are arguing media today is praising violence and this is causing widespread violent attacks. I am unsure if it is possible to prove without a doubt that media mirrors society or society mirrors media. The argument becomes a chicken or the egg discussion. Perhaps the issue is our apparent obsession with death and disaster. In general, we are drawn to disaster. When a car accident occurs, we slow down as we drive past, fixated on every detail of gore and glass. When a storm is approaching, we listen in for death counts and stories of destruction. I am not saying we are pleased by the incidents but we are certainly drawn by them. In some ways, I am reminded of Rome. Rome was captivated by blood and gore in the arena. How similar are we to that? I don't think we pop some popcorn and pull up our chairs in joy to hear about children being shot and incident after incident of death occurring. However, we are obsessed with each occurrence. Our media fixates on it. Our discussions revolve around it. We dissect, analyze, and critique. Perhaps, we fixate to accumulate information in hopes to prevent the same incident in our lives. As a culture, we are certainly obsessed with death. We want to beat it in every way possible. To us, death is an unnatural part of being. We avoid it and are afraid of it. I do wonder if this is because despite our continual attempts to name it to control it (thank you, Burke), death still beats us. We can only name what occurs before death. We can name what our bodies might do during the process of death. However, we cannot truly name and control anything after death or even what occurs right before death. Our only opportunity to grasp control and knowledge is when we ourselves are at our time of death.

I am sure I will have more thoughts but I just needed to put the rambling somewhere.