A Lesson in Logical Fallacies and Angel Choirs

Today, I am not writing a love letter. I am writing an angry, I-hate-political-season letter. Originally, I wanted to make this post a short lesson in logical fallacies. Then, I realized doing so would require me to dig out my old textbooks and decided that was too much work. However, I do feel a need to throw my input into the loud array of obnoxious opinions.

1. While an over-generalization may contain a small, tiny, itsy-bitsy piece of truth, it should not be used as logical proof.
2. Using a few words someone once said taken out of context also should not be used as logical proof.

*Pause* You may be thinking, "Marlise, aren't all political ads I've ever seen since I was born using both 1 & 2 to prove they are awesome and their opponent is Satan's spawn?" Now, I must first remind you not to over-generalize. However, I'll be darned if I can think of one I've seen yet that hasn't used some silly, logical fallacy. Unfortunately, I've discovered while watching TV with my grandparents, WE RESPOND TO NONSENSE! That's right.  Some more irritations I have...

3. Maybe I am messing up my timeline a bit but didn't the whole world's economy crash right about the same time ours did? I could only conclude from such information that either a. Obama killed the world or b. perhaps all economies, regardless of leader, party, or status, hit a low point due to a normal ebb and flow. Or...wait for it....... aliens.

4. Number four is half my rant and half another individual's rant. We keep waiting for the President to fix our world and create jobs. I'm not exactly sure how we think the President will create jobs. Perhaps, he could open a new clothing line and hire all recent college graduates to sew, sell, and model said clothing line. Sound fun?

5. A continuation of number 4... many individuals seem to be angry about a few promises that the President did or did not keep. Several thoughts on this:
a. Are we assuming that broad, sweeping promises are going to come to fruition as we imagined them?
b. I think making promises in order to gain votes is ridiculous and dangerous. However, time seems to prove that without promises the general public will not be swayed to vote. Therefore, who is truly at fault? The chicken. Maybe the egg. Also, due to entertainment and exaggerated ideas of the definition of freedom, the general public appears to thrive off of overly-Utopian claims of change. Newsflash: There is only one person who can fix every problem we have ever had and HIS NAME IS JESUS, FRIEND OF SINNERS. JESUS, JESUS. FRIEND OF MIIIIIIIIIINE! Sorry, the music was swelling around me, and I had to join. Moving this rant on...

I cannot think of any more irritations because a choir of singing angels just interrupted my train of thought. Also, I need to leave for work. The end.

Strength in Weakness

If God's intent was to wear me down so I'd no longer have strength to hold it together, he succeeded. He has my attention and all of my body weight. I just want to work with youth and make a difference in those who need love most. I left the place I love and people I depend on to come to Iowa so I could do that. That potential is disappearing fast. Where is my place here? I'm so worn out from saying goodbye, moving, and starting up the grueling process once again of job finding. One positive...Iowa certainly brings out the writer in me. I'm far from eloquent and I am simply thought vomiting on a page but it is writing nonetheless. None of the straws I normally grasp at for substance exists here. Merry Christmas. Oh hello God. Yes, I remember praying for your guidance. Yes, I want to mirror your heart. Yes, I suppose the best way for me to follow is to have only you, your truth, your voice leading me. Alright, I concede. 

The growing out stage

I think I have managed to line the stages of my hair with the stages of my life. As I am sure you have noticed by my "close to mullet" hair styles, my life is also in an " awkward to fashion and general humanity" stage. I am responding by using headbands, hats, and pins more than usual. My life is also being dressed up so as not to appear miserable beyond all reason. I went from having tons of friends who love hanging out with me and who find my strangeness entertaining to having my grandparents and my parents who find my strangeness, well, strange. I went from living in an exciting, vibrant, busy city to living in Sioux City. I'm not really sure how to trim the mullet out of my life but I sure am going to try and trim it out of my hair.

Resting in the In-between

I find myself lying anxiously on my bed wishing desperately to be with people. For the past two weeks, I spent every waking second running around seeing people, having deep conversations, keeping late hours. Now, my life has ground to a halt. My mind keeps racing through names of anyone I know in Iowa, grasping at straws to busy my life up. God brought me here in a sudden change. I got excited and my heart gained momentum. I've been here one day and already I feel like I'm back to waiting. I am terrible at taking rest when God gives me the in between. Iowa moves so much slower than New York and I'm positively twitching. I'm back to square one and I don't like it one bit. How do you make friends? I forget how to live in this environment. Here, people need to be sought out. There rarely exists a happening upon a kindred spirit. I know God is simply removing distractions so I can be with him. I've gotten so used to the high stress, high activity life of college that I've forgotten how to enjoy the moments of pause. I feel like a kid who got into the cookie jar and ate all the food I'm hyped up on sugar but know I'm headed for a bad stomach ache if I keep the energy on full blast. Lord, help me rest in the unknown space of the in-between.

I am done

I am ready to live life differently. I am tired of being caught up in worldly woes and fears. I am disgusted with my obsession with capitalism and possessions. I would rather be dirt poor and happy than rich and friendless. I have such a longing to see broken people healed and the power of God restored to this earth. I don't want to hear the demand of money, the scream of success, or the taunting of perfection anymore. I am done wasting my time, my energy, and my resources on empty concerns. I am being given an opportunity to live differently, to make a difference, to heal past wounds. I would be foolish to not walk in the middle of God's will. I will no longer fear being seen as crazy, irresponsible, delusional, or idealistic. I have lived far too long thinking God's truths and not living them.

I don't want worldly success, provision, or lust. I believe God blesses. However, I refuse to believe that blessing is a wealth of money, stuff, or occupational success. I want to be able to look back on my life and count the tears wept in joy and healing instead of counting the coins in my purse. I want to look back and see the strong foundation of fellowship and friendship instead of the foundation of an expensive home. I don't want a fancy car; I want a heavenly driver. I don't want pretty clothes; I want God's holy covering. I want calloused feet from walking out my faith and wrinkles from laughing in God's presence. Don't give me facts, statistics, or conclusions. Give me Truth, wisdom, and the unknown. I don't want to close my eyes and see this empty world. I want to open my eyes and see God's heart.

I am done with watered down faith, conditional deliverance, and static living. My life was bought at too high of a cost for me to live to play. I will not retire from my heavenly calling. I will not take a vacation from God's plan. My road will not be easy, and my destination will be far. But, God's burden is light and His path is true.

I will live as a child of God.

Fleeting Words

I have rarely been an eloquent  writer. Perhaps I rush through words too quickly, often carelessly choosing and oddly phrasing my hasty thoughts on a page. Or, maybe I fear losing inspiration and throw a mouthful on a sheet of paper hoping to catch a little truth. And yet, I wonder if I am simply waiting for the words to speak to me. I typically pardon my numerous errors by the joys of beautifully discovered phrases. I have yet to sustain my inadequacies for a whole book, the joys too sparse to relieve the guilt of spilled ink. On great occasion, I catch a fleeting glimpse of words on the wind, grasping at the possibility of a complete picture. On those days, my guilt is reprieved finding my words just right.

Dirt

When one is hungry, tired, and sick, the simple things become revelations. For example, I was eating a banana today (the only thing I am allowed to eat right now) and started thinking about how crazy it is that this plant creates something edible for humans. Also, this food contains essential nutrients for the human body. As my body is very angry with me right now, I am super aware of what nutrients are lacking in me. Now, can someone please explain, if bananas were not made with intent and purpose by a designer, why we didn't decide to just evolve into only needing nutrients from dirt. There is an abundance of dirt on this planet. Why is it our systems require all kinds of complex foods and diets to balance a crazy system inside our own bodies so everything functions correctly? Mind blown. Yes, I am extremely tired and am sure this post will seem fairly  mundane when I reread it after a night of sleep. Or will it?

Neglect

I've neglected my blog again. Tragic. In my defense, this month has been insane. Last semester, I was perfectly healthy. I didn't even get the sniffles. This semester? I have yet to have one week of non-sickness. Needless to say, I am not thrilled about this. My current issue is a bad reaction to an antibiotic I took for my sinus infection. Win. In brighter news, I love my internship. The inner city, high school kids that I get to work with rock my socks off! I love looking at their bright shining faces and knowing that I will make a difference in their lives, no matter how miniscule. Along with that city news, I am hopefully moving into the city come April/May! I love my city. So much life. Now, I just need to graduate and find a job. Let the living begin!

Freeing the Lightening Bug

The unexpected little moments are the moments  most cherished. The simple things strike the heart in profound deep ways. A surprising hello. A startling realization. A single snowflake. As a writer, I often only write about the bad stuff. Writing flows easier then. Far more difficult to write the pleasant things of life. I am busy living them, as I should be. However, sometimes one needs to take a moment to record these bits of joy. They fit into the big puzzle of life too and should not be neglected. I spent today procrastinating far too much of my time in preparation for a pleasant evening. I am sure my panicked self will be slightly annoyed with my delighted self by tomorrow. However, time has passed and I cannot turn it back. I spent a little time dreaming. I spent a larger majority of time just reflecting. I find it hard not to jump ahead of my life. I want to dream the biggest and the brightest future. Sometimes, my dreams get in the way of my path. Dreams are beautiful things but they are like lightening bugs. You see them best in the night and they die if kept tight within jars. I am going to try to purposefully live instead of wistfully dream. I cannot predict what will come next. However, I can enjoy the journey getting there. So, I shall attempt to screw off the lid of my glass jar and set my lightening bug free, free to roam in God's creation.

Because I am allowed to rant...

I love people but people in cars drive me out of my mind (Oh, pun was not intended but excellent)! I am used to the occasional annoyance, but today was simply absurd.

Dear woman in the car behind me,
Waving your arms like a jellyfish and screaming (what I can only assume to be) obscenities will not persuade me to move my car into oncoming traffic. No, you do not have to make the glasses motion with your hands. Yes, I do see you. Actually, I can't inch my car any farther so you can turn right. You can wait the 5 seconds it takes for me to get a chance to turn.

Dear man in the car behind me,
Do not honk at me. Yes, I see the light is green. Apparently, the five cars in front of me do not see it. Your honk will not make me love bump the car in front of me. Wait your darn turn! I think you will find it safe to assume if I am no where near the light and the light just turned green, chances are the cars in front of me haven't moved yet.

Dear speed-racer going so fast I only spotted the red streak your car made as you almost hit me,
I AM GOING 40 OVER JUST TO GET INTO MY DARN TURNING LANE! Please, let me in. (For those of you who have seen Up, enjoy the movie reference.)

Now, I will admit I have a tiny bit of road rage. Occasionally, I do get annoyed. I might even yell a bit. However, I try to restrain from arm flailing, horn honking, car weaving tantrums that a 3-year old would be proud of.

Other minor frustrations:
That light has been red for 5 seconds. My light has been green for 3. I was honked at for waiting. You should not have run that red light, sir.

My car is a '94 Honda Accord. She drove all the way from Iowa 2 years ago. Needless to say, she takes a second to get going. However, I promise you, if you wait a minute, she really does want to speed way more than you are right now. Thank you for passing me too soon and driving under the speed limit.

Dear car containing person who is being Jesus to a stranger in rush hour traffic,
While I am sure you are doing the right thing by letting everyone who was too lazy to wait in line go in front of you, I can't help but feeling like you are trying to get everyone to like you. Please note, the 5 billion cars behind you do not feel as happy as that rude 19 year old budging in front of us.

Words of Power

Do we realize the power of our everyday words? If you have ever had someone tell you he or she will love you forever, and then said person walked away, I am guessing you have an inkling about the power contained in some simple words. As humans, we get caught up in moments. The few times we think our puzzle pieces are finally matching up, we get excited and start saying things from our emotions. "Someday we will..." "I will never..." "I promise." We don't understand the true meaning of will anymore.Will, like so many vows and promises, has been soiled with time. We use will like a happy word that means "in this moment of time I want to but by tomorrow I probably won't."
I look at people who have said things to me. If I see them saying it to another person, I am tempted to believe they were lying to me. Even more frustrating, I think they were telling the truth when they said it. When he said "You are perfect for me." In that moment, he meant it. When she said "I would never do that to you." In that moment, she meant it. I know I do this constantly. l like to dream so I spin these wild tales of beauty and passion, momentarily forgetting that time has a way of changing things. Maybe, my problem is in speaking from my emotion. When I say "I will," I mean my emotion is so overflowing right now I want to express it entirely. What I should mean when I say "I will" is I am making a conscious decision to stand by this until it is fulfilled. If that commitment is too big to make or is unwise to make, maybe I should stay silent. Big words are inspiring in the moment. However when misused, they quickly lose their instant power and become destructive for the future. Call me sheltered or guarded but I need to be far more conscious of the promises I am unintentionally making.

Illogical Logic

When will I get the following in my head:
If I don't do something now for me, then having a guy by my side won't change my actions.
Seriously, why is this one so hard for me? I do this all the time. I don't always use the absent guy as an excuse.
"I will just procrastinate my homework. When it is a really big assignment or project, I won't." Really, Marlise?
"I'll start praying for everything and about everything when life gets important." I don't even need to comment on this one.
How about the really subtle excuse? "I'll believe I'm loved when a guy says it." Come on! God says it every day! If I can't believe the maker of the universe, then how the bloody heck am I supposed to believe the mere mortal?

How I feel is maybe 10% circumstance and 90% personal perspective. Once I fully process this fact, I should be well on my way to a stress-free life. Challenge accepted.

Forced Silence

I lost my voice. I had no idea how frustrating being inaudible would be. I've had this perpetual sickness that will not leave. The newest progression was a loss of voice. Funny, I spend most days at home in silence but when you have no option except silence, life is quiet indeed. I was incredibly frustrated. I went to go spend my "quiet" time with God and quickly realized I usually spend my time singing. Fail. Angry, I started ranting at God. How was I supposed to spend quality time with him when I couldn't make a sound?!?!

Lightbulb.

You know those incredibly obvious epiphanies? Bingo. Now, I am not saying that God purposefully took my voice away on the last day of the fast. I am not even saying, if you are an incredibly stubborn person who won't pause two seconds to do what you know you need to, God will bring an unexpected sickness upon you and smite your voice. However, I certainly think he takes advantage of situations like forced silence. After pouting, I picked up my Bible and read until I was tired. Simple. Yet, today my voice returned and I walked away with a bit of truth. Sometimes, I need to be okay with shutting my mouth and listening.

Mattress Diary of the Internet

I delete my blogs like nobody's business. The idea of these posts collectively combining into an overall picture of me freaks me out. What if I wrote something while particularly under the influence of melancholy? What if people start to think I am some depressing writer pretending to be artistic with my whiny thoughts? Delete. The whole hiding your diary under your mattress is definitely the way to go. I can't help but write me. How do people do it? I also have to be the most inconsistent blogger on this planet. I go through stages of poetry, short story, and rambling nonsense. There is a slight possibility that I forget about posting on schedule, write in rampages, and then disappear for a few months. Is this normal?

Uncharted Waters

I have always been perfectly comfortable with change. I learned this trait from my father. In fact, I tend to crave change. I hate being stagnant. I also am fairly comfortable with the unknown. I find the unknown poetic and exciting. The unknown is something new I can experience. However, I stand here in my last semester of college thoroughly startled at my concern and fear of change and the unknown. I am at a point in my life where I want to start living my passion, my calling. I know God has placed something big on my heart. I love people. A sunset will leave me speechless and a night full of stars thrills me to the bones. Still, the most beautiful creation God has yet to make is the human being. Each is packaged with an intense longing for him and a call on his or her life. Beautiful!

I desire so much to make a difference. Now, instead of just finding change, I want to be change. I don't want to work for a company that has no heart for the lost and hungry. I don't want to go to school looking for some letters to add to my name. I don't want to be stuck in the daily grind of habitual apathy. I want to wake up every morning driven by God, passionate about my work, and seeing a difference made. I worry I am being foolish. In an economy that is failing, I worry my dreams are irresponsible. There is a little voice that tells me recklessly pursuing God's plan is futile and foolish. I am so sick of that voice. It is the voice of the world, the voice of reason, the voice of fear. It is a liar.

God has yet to leave me hanging in a dark place all alone. He has yet to abandon me. He has yet to forget about me. Why would he start now? My deepest desires are of him. He has reassured me time and time again that what I long for is worthy and not worldly. I desire passion. I long to be effective. I want to be a wife and a mother, supporting my family and helping them grow. I want to be an asset to my community. I want to help the church. I long to be a working part of the body of Christ. I have no idea how my gifts and talents mix into a job position. I cannot fathom a man who is not afraid to passionately pursue God's will in his life and also pursue me. I cannot imagine a world where my deepest heart combines with reality. Still, I know God has promised it to be. Somehow, God always puts it together.

I was worried about finding an internship. The first day of the semester, I had an interview and was offered the internship of my dreams. Every day, I get to do something new and creative, finding ways to help an organization that has a heart for the hungry and poor. Clearly, God's got this covered. I know my responsibility is now to dig into his Word and spend more time in prayer. The work he is preparing me for is too big to neglect. I cannot step in my wisdom anymore. I need to step in his. I cannot think in my thoughts anymore. I need to think in his. Being full of dreams and ideas is good, but I need to be grounded in God. I need to glue my feet to the Rock on the bottom before I stick my head in the clouds. I have no idea where my next step is. I need to be okay with that. I want to get back the childish excitement I used to have gazing at the unknown and uncharted waters. I want to stand sturdy at the helm, eyes fiery with passion, heart abandoned to God, and ship coursing ahead, blown by the Spirit of God.