Tuesday, February 28, 2012
Dirt
When one is hungry, tired, and sick, the simple things become revelations. For example, I was eating a banana today (the only thing I am allowed to eat right now) and started thinking about how crazy it is that this plant creates something edible for humans. Also, this food contains essential nutrients for the human body. As my body is very angry with me right now, I am super aware of what nutrients are lacking in me. Now, can someone please explain, if bananas were not made with intent and purpose by a designer, why we didn't decide to just evolve into only needing nutrients from dirt. There is an abundance of dirt on this planet. Why is it our systems require all kinds of complex foods and diets to balance a crazy system inside our own bodies so everything functions correctly? Mind blown. Yes, I am extremely tired and am sure this post will seem fairly mundane when I reread it after a night of sleep. Or will it?
Monday, February 27, 2012
Neglect
I've neglected my blog again. Tragic. In my defense, this month has been insane. Last semester, I was perfectly healthy. I didn't even get the sniffles. This semester? I have yet to have one week of non-sickness. Needless to say, I am not thrilled about this. My current issue is a bad reaction to an antibiotic I took for my sinus infection. Win. In brighter news, I love my internship. The inner city, high school kids that I get to work with rock my socks off! I love looking at their bright shining faces and knowing that I will make a difference in their lives, no matter how miniscule. Along with that city news, I am hopefully moving into the city come April/May! I love my city. So much life. Now, I just need to graduate and find a job. Let the living begin!
Saturday, February 4, 2012
Freeing the Lightening Bug
The unexpected little moments are the moments most cherished. The simple things strike the heart in profound deep ways. A surprising hello. A startling realization. A single snowflake. As a writer, I often only write about the bad stuff. Writing flows easier then. Far more difficult to write the pleasant things of life. I am busy living them, as I should be. However, sometimes one needs to take a moment to record these bits of joy. They fit into the big puzzle of life too and should not be neglected. I spent today procrastinating far too much of my time in preparation for a pleasant evening. I am sure my panicked self will be slightly annoyed with my delighted self by tomorrow. However, time has passed and I cannot turn it back. I spent a little time dreaming. I spent a larger majority of time just reflecting. I find it hard not to jump ahead of my life. I want to dream the biggest and the brightest future. Sometimes, my dreams get in the way of my path. Dreams are beautiful things but they are like lightening bugs. You see them best in the night and they die if kept tight within jars. I am going to try to purposefully live instead of wistfully dream. I cannot predict what will come next. However, I can enjoy the journey getting there. So, I shall attempt to screw off the lid of my glass jar and set my lightening bug free, free to roam in God's creation.
Wednesday, February 1, 2012
Because I am allowed to rant...
I love people but people in cars drive me out of my mind (Oh, pun was not intended but excellent)! I am used to the occasional annoyance, but today was simply absurd.
Dear woman in the car behind me,
Waving your arms like a jellyfish and screaming (what I can only assume to be) obscenities will not persuade me to move my car into oncoming traffic. No, you do not have to make the glasses motion with your hands. Yes, I do see you. Actually, I can't inch my car any farther so you can turn right. You can wait the 5 seconds it takes for me to get a chance to turn.
Dear man in the car behind me,
Do not honk at me. Yes, I see the light is green. Apparently, the five cars in front of me do not see it. Your honk will not make me love bump the car in front of me. Wait your darn turn! I think you will find it safe to assume if I am no where near the light and the light just turned green, chances are the cars in front of me haven't moved yet.
Dear speed-racer going so fast I only spotted the red streak your car made as you almost hit me,
I AM GOING 40 OVER JUST TO GET INTO MY DARN TURNING LANE! Please, let me in. (For those of you who have seen Up, enjoy the movie reference.)
Now, I will admit I have a tiny bit of road rage. Occasionally, I do get annoyed. I might even yell a bit. However, I try to restrain from arm flailing, horn honking, car weaving tantrums that a 3-year old would be proud of.
Other minor frustrations:
That light has been red for 5 seconds. My light has been green for 3. I was honked at for waiting. You should not have run that red light, sir.
My car is a '94 Honda Accord. She drove all the way from Iowa 2 years ago. Needless to say, she takes a second to get going. However, I promise you, if you wait a minute, she really does want to speed way more than you are right now. Thank you for passing me too soon and driving under the speed limit.
Dear car containing person who is being Jesus to a stranger in rush hour traffic,
While I am sure you are doing the right thing by letting everyone who was too lazy to wait in line go in front of you, I can't help but feeling like you are trying to get everyone to like you. Please note, the 5 billion cars behind you do not feel as happy as that rude 19 year old budging in front of us.
Dear woman in the car behind me,
Waving your arms like a jellyfish and screaming (what I can only assume to be) obscenities will not persuade me to move my car into oncoming traffic. No, you do not have to make the glasses motion with your hands. Yes, I do see you. Actually, I can't inch my car any farther so you can turn right. You can wait the 5 seconds it takes for me to get a chance to turn.
Dear man in the car behind me,
Do not honk at me. Yes, I see the light is green. Apparently, the five cars in front of me do not see it. Your honk will not make me love bump the car in front of me. Wait your darn turn! I think you will find it safe to assume if I am no where near the light and the light just turned green, chances are the cars in front of me haven't moved yet.
Dear speed-racer going so fast I only spotted the red streak your car made as you almost hit me,
I AM GOING 40 OVER JUST TO GET INTO MY DARN TURNING LANE! Please, let me in. (For those of you who have seen Up, enjoy the movie reference.)
Now, I will admit I have a tiny bit of road rage. Occasionally, I do get annoyed. I might even yell a bit. However, I try to restrain from arm flailing, horn honking, car weaving tantrums that a 3-year old would be proud of.
Other minor frustrations:
That light has been red for 5 seconds. My light has been green for 3. I was honked at for waiting. You should not have run that red light, sir.
My car is a '94 Honda Accord. She drove all the way from Iowa 2 years ago. Needless to say, she takes a second to get going. However, I promise you, if you wait a minute, she really does want to speed way more than you are right now. Thank you for passing me too soon and driving under the speed limit.
Dear car containing person who is being Jesus to a stranger in rush hour traffic,
While I am sure you are doing the right thing by letting everyone who was too lazy to wait in line go in front of you, I can't help but feeling like you are trying to get everyone to like you. Please note, the 5 billion cars behind you do not feel as happy as that rude 19 year old budging in front of us.
Words of Power
Do we realize the power of our everyday words? If you have ever had someone tell you he or she will love you forever, and then said person walked away, I am guessing you have an inkling about the power contained in some simple words. As humans, we get caught up in moments. The few times we think our puzzle pieces are finally matching up, we get excited and start saying things from our emotions. "Someday we will..." "I will never..." "I promise." We don't understand the true meaning of will anymore.Will, like so many vows and promises, has been soiled with time. We use will like a happy word that means "in this moment of time I want to but by tomorrow I probably won't."
I look at people who have said things to me. If I see them saying it to another person, I am tempted to believe they were lying to me. Even more frustrating, I think they were telling the truth when they said it. When he said "You are perfect for me." In that moment, he meant it. When she said "I would never do that to you." In that moment, she meant it. I know I do this constantly. l like to dream so I spin these wild tales of beauty and passion, momentarily forgetting that time has a way of changing things. Maybe, my problem is in speaking from my emotion. When I say "I will," I mean my emotion is so overflowing right now I want to express it entirely. What I should mean when I say "I will" is I am making a conscious decision to stand by this until it is fulfilled. If that commitment is too big to make or is unwise to make, maybe I should stay silent. Big words are inspiring in the moment. However when misused, they quickly lose their instant power and become destructive for the future. Call me sheltered or guarded but I need to be far more conscious of the promises I am unintentionally making.
I look at people who have said things to me. If I see them saying it to another person, I am tempted to believe they were lying to me. Even more frustrating, I think they were telling the truth when they said it. When he said "You are perfect for me." In that moment, he meant it. When she said "I would never do that to you." In that moment, she meant it. I know I do this constantly. l like to dream so I spin these wild tales of beauty and passion, momentarily forgetting that time has a way of changing things. Maybe, my problem is in speaking from my emotion. When I say "I will," I mean my emotion is so overflowing right now I want to express it entirely. What I should mean when I say "I will" is I am making a conscious decision to stand by this until it is fulfilled. If that commitment is too big to make or is unwise to make, maybe I should stay silent. Big words are inspiring in the moment. However when misused, they quickly lose their instant power and become destructive for the future. Call me sheltered or guarded but I need to be far more conscious of the promises I am unintentionally making.
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