Today my umbrella had an emotional breakdown
And while I was walking down the hall,
The swinging door had a violent attack
And I found myself kissing the wall.
Today my pencil had a mild seizure
And my paper ran away with a rock.
My light fixture had a very severe twitch
And my poor laptop went into shock.
Today my blow dryer got a little love struck
And blew my hair into a tizzy.
My alarm clock slept in till half past ten
And I was late to my date with History.
Today you say my paper was due
And my test was less than great,
But I can say to you with all serious honesty
It’s not my fault I’m late.
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